oh the holidays!!!! and a wonderful tease reference

so it's the holiday season... and when you have a vanilla life and kids.. oh does it take its toll on the play....

My mistress and I have been finding time to play but blog posts and daily assignments probably won't be back until the new year!..

in the interim... this tease is absolutely wonderful.. and has great ideas to excite a chaste slut or to feed the mischievous mind of a femdom key holder!.

this tease is laid out as instructional/reference speaking to a new key holder,.. very well done.

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=23241

in denial.

philotes_toy

if she says lock it.... um, you should lock it.

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A Dungeon Party to Remember!

So this Saturday my Mistress and I went to our first public, yet; Private Dungeon Party...

The Domme that runs this party refers to her playspace as three floors of whores... and it was debauchery anywhere you looked!

Both of us were very nervous leading up to the party.. what to expect.. what or how will we or others behave... anxious to say the least...

the party had many play spaces... and even a bartender with bottle service, very well run.. but with 60 plus folks the space filled up fast...

I wore restraints at ankle and wrist and a collar, along with a locked cock cage of course!!! hanging from the Mistress were three huge dog tags.. 1st one saying "READ ME"... 2nd one explaining the locked cock.. the 3rd saying... Play with my locked cock.. my Mistress loves to watch me squirm..

I had two Dommes take the tags up on their offer... I also had three guys read the tags... (I'm not bi, I'm extremely liberal and not homophobic, etc.. .. but guys do nothing for me)...  none of the guys took up the offer ;).

Domme Philotes told me how I looked like a kid in a candy store!!!, I felt like a kid in the candy store!.. next time we will bring a lot of our toys!

this was a trial run and will be sure to enjoy the next party...

as to the daily assignments.. stay tuned! schedules didn't allow for much last week.

a daytime assignment - cleanliness is next to my Goddess

so, my ass is soon to be her's!.. I'm looking forward to this.. but anal play is something that requires some preparation... clean...clean...clean..  santorum isn't just bad in politics ;)

but why?, why would you look forward to this?

a dirty ... dirty ... dirty slut.. I know who I am :D

sometimes... it all hinges on bondage

Trick or Treat? - My Mistress and I found a little extra time in the early evening before the duties of life.. she instructed that I go get our toy box… my mind raced with this exciting development…

an example, I wish that was our bathroom ;)

I stood with toy box awaiting direction; she let me know today was going to be a new approach… she instructed I make use of door hinges for more of a St Andrews approach, the hinges to the french doors to our master bath suite she was speaking to.

Looping the heavy rope over top and back under the hinge (the top hinge of the three) this created two hook points for the wrist restraints without any altering of the vanilla house/ fixtures.

Waisting no time she quickly bound my wrists and I heard the wonderful click of the carabiners springing shut, my vulnerability was complete.  With this bondage my cock was now straining with all its futile might against the metal bars of its chastity cage.

Next up was a sensory depravation hood, if as a submissive you've not had an opportunity to experience this; I highly recommend it.  with each strap tightening, tightening the padding against my ears, the padding against my eyes.. the incorporated collar, the hood in a hole was now securely fastened and my cock now must have been purple/blue as it bulged.

our door is much wider, I had less squirm room

My balls hang low, so I'm able to wear a smaller diameter ring with my cock cage, this helps with security, this also serves as one hell of a cock ring if my Mistress removes my cage for play, which she did this day.  After some flogging and spanking she removed my cage and quickly worked all the blood possible into my member, the ring preventing any from retreat (because she teased so much prior to cage removal I doubt I myself could have gotten the ring off at this point!).

Long story short this was the first back to back ruined orgasm I've ever had, she had cum dribble from the head of my cock twice.  This felt like a long session and I couldn't believe that afterwards it was only 20 minutes or so!!!!

my advice is you go and find a doorway to darken! ;)… Happy November.

in denial,

philotes_toy

Ashley Madison? an ad?

My Mistress asked that I asset in penning a description for an advert.., what do you think?

>>>>

50 shades of ?

Do you like sex or sexual energy in your relationship but too tired from duties of life?, would you like to know why my husband does all of the housework and by doing so it boosts his libido?

Are you a cocktease?, do you enjoy flirting and turning on guys but just to keep them wanting more, leaving them in desire ?…

I have an offer… come help me tease my husband.. your involvement or extent is something we can discuss..  the knowledge you walk away with is priceless

lets have some fun.

Tease and Denial, Edging, Ruined Orgasm, Post Orgasm Torture… BDSM, Bondage, Cock and Ball Torture.. Strap-on, Anal play, etc..

have questions/ curious??? ask me.

>>>>

a daytime assignment - polish your ….

the email I received...

"Now on to your assignment pet!  My shoes are in much need of buffing.  I would like you to strip down to nothing but your chastity and polish my shoes.  Not polish your nob but polish my shoes.  All of them in the closet.  Send me a picture of them completely done.  I would also appreciate a picture of you cleaning my shoes.

Have fun pet.  I know you have a foot fetish so you better not treat my shoes unkindly!

Yours in Pain and frustration!"

so,,,, .. again, earlier today I had received this text message below.

"I’ve joined Ashley Madison. I am thinking about interviewing a female that might be interested in helping me tease you…….It will be ever so delightful to see your cock hard against your cage. You said last night that you couldn’t cum inside your chastity cage. I beg to differ pet!"

now I'm not sure if my Mistress is serious or not.. but that is in my head…  and I start thinking about what if each pair of shoes would represent a different dominant woman, all of them there to share in my key-holder's fun.. not there for me, or to please me, but rather my Mistress bringing them there to share in laughter and to allow them to use me as well…

what if she decided to have a tease-and-denial workshop… or; how to ruin an orgasm and POT 101 class!!!!

needless to say I polished all the shoes and I polished them well.

a text message that changes a day...

so here is the text message…. needless to say my cage is full and my mind is racing.

I’ve joined Ahsley Madison. I am thinking about interviewing a female that might be interested in helping me tease you…….It will be ever so delightful to see your cock hard against your cage. You said last night that you couldn’t cum inside your chastity cage. I beg to differ pet! 

a daytime assignment - spoon fed!

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some temporary fun ;)

how cool.. and temporary..

cum slut tattoo or slave tattoo? click here.

the daytime assignment - more of a secret than Victoria's

So my Mistress Philotes has on more than one occasion asked what my likes and dislikes are … this is for her use as I'm sure she plans on pushing limits from both…

One of my likes is objectification, humuliation…. now I've never been particularly excited by cross dressing… but today's assignment, it wasn't that I was wearing women's panties… (a G-String) to be exact.. it was that I felt truly a slut.. like at any moment my Mistress could walk in, laugh, restrain me, and absolutely just use my ass and any other orifice for her amusement and cast me aside.

so, sorry for the ramble.. I still feel a bit disheveled.-> Todays Assignment:

a few technical details (compliments a la wikipedia)

>>>>>>>>

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person merely as an instrument of sexual pleasure, making them a "sex object". Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object, without regard to their personality or dignity. Objectification is most commonly examined at the level of a society, but can also refer to the behavior of individuals.

The concept of sexual objectification and, in particular, the objectification of women, is an important idea in feminist theory and psychological theories derived from feminism.^[1][2] Many feminists regard sexual objectification as objectionable and as playing an important role in gender inequality

Erotic humiliation is the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context. Whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; it is often, but not always, accompanied by sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings derived from it that are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. This is usually a feeling of Submission for the person being humiliated, and Dominance, for the person doing the humiliation. It can be verbal or physical, or in private or public. Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (as online). Humiliation is an example of the power dynamic that exists in a D/s or M/s relationship. E.g. In an activity such as spanking, the sought effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.

A naked woman being humiliated in front of a group of people.

While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it.^[1] Humiliation play can, however, be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, which some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of asafeword. This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context.

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Mistress.. I hope the following photos please you… 

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are you plugged in?

so no assignment today, my Mistress was home with me today…

after I had taken her to lunch and upon our return; I had asked about any assignment… she replied; it would be boring if you expected an assignment everyday…

I was unlocked today as I have an outing later "of a physical nature that wouldn't allow for any chastity play)..  she let me know that she had considered sending me with an anal plug!!!, this by the way would have been very torturesome as every 20 minutes I will be practically (if not literally) jumping into a seat!!!!

My mistress in the past has not enjoyed anal play in the slightest… but she shared with me that she had an epiphany the other day; Anal play wasn't for her (directly anyway); it was for me…

I know she is starting to revel in the notion that keeping her slut horny, denied, frustrated and stuffed will entertain her far more than any anal play would detract..

so Anal play??.. what gives…, well with so many things in life it turns out context is very important!.. is the Anal play a plug, is it plugged and locked or plugged during orgasm.. is it strap on sex and is it pre or post orgasm…

Anal plugs with locks?, what gives… a submissive does have to defecate, right?.. but at the same time, what if the cock slut tries to drain some of his filth via a prostate massage, can you trust him…  henceforth they have some pretty serious contraptions!

We don't have trusted chamber maids to release on need, etc.. so this will have to rely on the trust between a chaste slut and his Mistress… 

so what else?, well,  did you know that men have a G-Spot?, the cruel joke, it is in their ass!

here is a video for anal play 101 - with Nina Hartley.. Nina is a powerhouse of instructional guidance within adult and erotic topics.

from a submissive's perspective, how would you feel if your domme made you wear an anal plug to the store, wondering if anyone knew your secret as if your facial expression gave you away….  or maybe it is a conditioning.. making sure your ass is ready for a fucking later that night and she doesn't want to work?… either way… great for  power play .. I wonder which one she'll ask I wear.

By the way.. we do have a Folsom TENS unit and an eSTIM anal plug.. very excited for a day when Mistress decides to use this.. 

More to cum on this topic I'm sure… did I mention that after all of this topic/discussion my Mistress took me to the edge 4 more times and then ruined the orgasm all over my stomach?…

so much more to cover regarding this in future posts:

• Milking
• Strap-on Fucking/ Humiliation
• Anal contraction during orgasm, etc..
• Cleanliness, hygiene..

a chaste slut.

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the daytime assignment - pin a flower on it!

Today's assignment was fun but a bit of a challenge!…

taken from an article

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So what would induce a person to inflict pain on someone they love, anyway?

It's all about context. In the right context, with the right person, inflicting pain is deliciously erotic.

Even a hardcore, "whip me 'til I'm black and blue for a week" masochist doesn't enjoy stubbing his toe. It's not about pain per se.""

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

click her for full article -> read here.

So, do you think the clothespins hurt going on, while on, or coming off?.. we will get to that in a bit…

First was the challenge... I want to please my mistress so my quest was to use every pin, the issue was space.. when a cock is in chastity often time the scrotum is already a bit taught from the captive ball ring….

I'm pleased to report that I nearly got every single one on!!!

Now was time again to realize there is another part of this assignment.. or an eventuality of these need to come back off… remember when I asked "do you think the clothespins hurt going on, while on, or coming off?", the answer!!!! can be all the above, but severity is almost always the most while coming off…

When a clothespin is removed all the nerve endings that had been previously compressed and deprived of sensation or circulation.. well!!! they are back online and they are sending some messages via the pain receptors…  this will release endorphins for the submissive..

The rest of the day my skin will be sensitive and with each stride I'll be cognizant of todays assignment,;Mistress thank you for the zipper marks pictured below.

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The Blog and Comunication

How many ways can you or do you communicate something?, you can write a note, you can say it, you could sky write it, you could text it, you could email it, you could elude or hint to it, etc.. etc..

it turns out there is another interesting way, you can blog about it..

My Mistress; Mistress Philotes reads and follows my blog, she has been reading my posts and I hope that she will continue to do so.  A delightful and unexpected result of this would be that I get to communicate with her in a fashion that is unrestricted and not tailored for her.

When we speak with another individual we tailor something for how we think that person will best understand, or to not offend, or to uplift, etc. doing this comes at a price - the price of the message.  It is said (who said it?, we need a source)… that very little (small %) of what we say is understood the way we intended..

With a blog I draft or craft the posts for a general audience and hence I think more of what I'm saying is understood with a higher percentile of intended meaning intact...

Last night in our play session I can attest that my Mistress is using this blog to get inside of my head!!!

This also culminated in the least sensation ruined orgasm I've ever had (yes I'm aware of the pun in that sentence.)    I felt an upstroke and a release of pressure, I didn't even feel the cum dribble out, yet there was plenty of it..   I could feel the end of my cock engorged and begging for more stimulation, I could have erupted afterwards with just one more stroke kind of sensation...

well, my cock is again starting to swell against its cage… signing off.

the daytime assignment - candlelight dinner!

Today's assignment was a bit deceptive!…

It sounded pretty easy and harmless at first…, but part of being a good little chaste slut is keeping my Mistress's cock clean and the cage clean… more of that later!

First off was the assignment, first I noticed the metallic candle my Mistress had selected.. she knows that these drop very hot ( did I mention VERY ) hot wax!!!!  I want to please, so I was sure to cover the cock and balls thoroughly… with each drip it felt like the sting of a whip!  

you may think to yourself if ever having experianced wax play before, no problem.. he could have just held the candle higher up.. more time for the wax to cool on the way down.  I thought of that idea, these candles don't really seem to care about the laws of physics.

okay…, With the endorphins still running through my body form each sting of each drip; all done I thought to myself and feeling appreciative for today's assignment.  This feeling soon faded as a realized I now have quite the mess on my hands! lol!!, and that is my Mistress's cock in pretty shabby shape.

turns out the most punishment of this assignment wasn't the wax.. no, it was cleaning the wax off!, btw… metallic candles as it turn out, just don't burn and drip super hot.. they cling, cling to a surface like nothing I've ever seen (chrome metallic chastity cage.. cling no problem!). I had to use a slow and methodac fingernail scrap to clean it all.

something tells me this will come back to haunt at inspection when she finds an inevitable missed spot of wax clinging to some surface, somewhere. 

Dirty Talk?

So!.. what is your favorite activity?, do you like Cock and Ball Torture?, Nipple Torture, or Humiliation, etc…?

Regardless of your favorite punishment or funishment.. there is one component that I know will drive most submissive(s) absolutely crazy.. --->>> dirty talk!!!

My wife has pushed me into sub space once or twice before.. I've only been there maybe 4 times in my life…I never get there without the mental aspect.. and the mental aspect gets there with dirty talk!!!, anticipation, preface, stimulation, articulation, justification, repercussion, etc… it is all delivered via dirty talk…

dirty talk is HARD!… , Man or Woman.. we are all self conscious…, we worry of sounding funny or not being taken seriously.. this is difficult to overcome, but with some self reflective thought it can become easy.

Nothing excites me more than dirty talk that covers all aspects…  especially dirty talk that trips me up.. a question that doesn't allow for a right answer maybe…. this also boosts the confidence of the individual that just made me fumble ;)… then they can shift into some humiliation or punishment talk… and then lastly just narration, and! when that becomes tiresome.. just some closing comments before a sensory depravation hood goes on….

BDSM play for me can be very technical.. kind of like a business presentation - cold and calculated actually translates to warm and caring.

Tell a sub what your going to tell them, tell them what you just told them, then; tell them again.
set expectations, discuss your thoughts on limits or limit pushing, articulate how or why limits are going to be pushed (again, clinical is okay)… something disgusts you, say it (use common sense.. your worthless cock disgusts me - good,  your protruding ear hair, not good, lol [but you could pluck it and then punish the slave for not taking care of it or presenting themselves properly.. always a way, :P)… something excites you, say it…  if you are thinking.. I wonder how many clothes pins will fit, say it…. if you are wondering if you are hurting them too much or too little.. ask….

if your slave is gagged.. that is okay.. have them signal somehow (maybe make them signal in a way that would inflict punishment upon themselves… wiggle your balls if you would not like another spanking (maybe the balls are tied to a "something", maybe they absolutely cannot win/signal and spankings continue...)….

okay, well--- my cock cage is now very full and I really need to stop thinking about this topic!.. here is a great video below for anyone starting out…

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facebook?

Mistress Philotes just remarked how much more she was enjoying fetlife rather than facebook... , this ought be fun, lol

A daytime Assignment

Mistress Philotes understood that I was feeling a bit neglected during the work days…. or that I was an attention grabbing slut… but either way- today under my pillow was an assignment..

the assignment was… to reference a boudoir photo shoot she had given me in vanilla life and pick a favorite picture.. then; list what I would do if my cock was free or what I would do if my cock was caged… below you will find my submittal.

btw - the picture IS Mistress Philotes.

------------>

Mistress, 

My favorite picture from the photo shoot is the 3rd from last…

you are laying on a bed with a your head/ neck resting on the edge of the bed allowing it to lean down just slightly… your legs are crossed and up in the air…

This picture is my favorite because it is the tale of two women in my fantasy… as I fantasize about this picture two women are present…

one woman I see:

wanting, available, ready… if I my cock was free.. I could approach and explain with action rather than words… the angle and accessibility of all erogenous zones are perfect… I could fill your mouth with my bulging cock while I gather the flesh of your outer lips in my hand… pulling at the hotness just enough to excite all of the nerves around your clit.. squeezing just above the hood, but focussing around it.. not directly on it,,, leaving you wanting for fullness… eventually giving you just that as I grab your ankles, spin you round and pound all the length of my cock into your wet pussy with one thrust…

another woman I see:

I see a woman in thought, a woman aware of her power… a seductress, with a key around her neck and all the power for which that symbolizes.. a woman that is deserving of worship.. I see a playful tease that would take a caged cock into her mouth or lick testicles to see the cock strain against it's cage… I see a temple to worship with legs in the air whereas a slaves place is at the alter and licking continues leading to eruption of a blissful orgasm… I see, simply; utopia.

Mistress, Thank you for this assignment.

your locked slut.

philotes_toy

Milovana ever?

a nice web tease

bdsm 101

just a great video!

topping from bottom!

the worst!!!!!!… nobody likes it…  how does one share information best…

I plan on posting about this more! :D

Ruined Orgasm

so last night My Mistress and I had a little fun.. we are awaiting a sensory depravation hood from amazon.. once received I would imagine pictures will be more frequent…

we have enrolled in http://obey-ms-ivey.blogspot.com/p/couples-training.html and I've also bought for my wife http://www.amazon.com/How-To-Set-FLR-Relationships/dp/1490311033/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382286182&sr=8-1&keywords=female+led+relationships

knowing that for the next 60 days my Mistress, my wife, and my Key-holder has another dominant woman to assist her is really inside my head…

humiliating tasks or rather the prospect of them have kept my cage very full..  there have been days this week last where I was feeling ignored during the day.. but I know my wife's day is very full and busy professionally… I'm eager to see if she starts time shifting sluty tasks (i.e. getting them ready the night before but not clicking send on the email until noon, etc..)

sorry, right - last night… ( a quick summary youtube.. of no relation to us, but a good little review )

so last night I had a ruined orgasm.. to be honest , I'm still not yet sure degrees of "ruined".. I've watched a lot of videos..  there was no POT "Post Orgasm Torture" so I cannot be sure if it was ruined or not.  I say this because in a truly ruined orgasm there will be almost zero refractory period and the penis could again be stimulated to or near orgasm without any wait…..  I will say that my Mistress nailed the stimulation, there were many pumps followed by her letting go and not for what would have been rhythmically 5 or 6 pumps later did I start to cum.. I didn't dribble though.. it did feel like spasms...

the biggest thing I was in suspense about was cum eating.. was my Mistress going to force my cum into my dirty little slut mouth or not… last night she did not and instructed me to clean myself up…

about me

We are the American dream.. pretty much--suburban home, happy wife/happy husband, two young kids.. relatively little debt and upper middle class…

I'm a 34 year old white male and I work from home.

I've been interested in BDSM since I've been interested in sex!

I think the secret to happiness is communication!.. tell anyone around you what you are truly feeling.. that is not to say you wouldn't take their feelings into account with phrasing.. but say what you think.

My wife and I have been together for nearly 15 years… we have not always been into the lifestyle and we live a vanilla lifestyle to nearly all of our friends and family…  most never would/will know I have a locked cock under my clothing!

first post.. is this on?

I've decided to blog my experiences in bdsm, life, and marriage.…  Anything I post will be real, my intent is for communication between my key holder.. and to be that of a resource to Men and Women alike that are interested for whatever their reasons.